I just had to gather a bunch of little, funny/odd tid-bits from The Assassin King. I gathered all of these in the hopes that iluvachmed might put them into her "Achmedian," site for quotes from TAK, but something is wrong with her email. ![Crying [:'(]](/emoticons/emotion-9.gif)
So I decided to post all these in The Cauldron instead! I apologize before hand if some of them are a bit ridiculous! ![Wink [;)]](/emoticons/emotion-5.gif)
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 32:
Achmed smiled slightly. "You're suggesting we eat Rhapsody's baby?"
"Yeah. Why not?"
The Firbolg king's smile faded as the gaurds from the keep arrived to take him to his solitary chamber.
"Because there's not enough to share," he said within plain earshot of the soldiers.
"You're right, as always sir," Grunthor called out amiably as Achmed was led away. "'Ow about you just let me bite off the 'ead, an' you can 'ave the rest."
The Firbolg king shook his head. "No," he said without turning around. "It's related to Ashe, so it probably tastes like mutton. You know how much I hate mutton."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 37:
(Rhapsody comes to see Achmed before they meet in the little room to discuss the war)
He did not turn even as she came to the window. "Where's the screaming thing?" he asked, "I thought it had been cemented permanently to your ***."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 52:
(During the meeting discussing the elements of war)
"Bloody dragons," Grunthor muttered. "Once is never enough with 'em; ya gotta kill 'em at least twice, maybe more."
"If anyone should know that it would be you, Ashe," said Achmed. "I've been trying with you for the last four years, and yet here you are."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 53:
(Achmed talking to Anborn)
"Your parents were charming people. Family dinners in your house must have been joyous."
"Why do you think each of us had a personal food taster?" Anborn replied testily.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 55:
(Anborn)
His azure eyes gleamed as a thought occured, and he turned to Achmed. "Except for that idiot ambassador my brother sent with the walking machine last autumn; he seemed quite intent on contacting you."
The Bolg king's forbidding countenance soured even more. "Oh, he did, rest assured," he said. "I let him live in spite of it."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 96:
(Rath is attacked by three drunken bastards while hunting for Ysk)
Rath lay still, feigning stupor and collecting himself, until the one rummaging through his clothes discovered his knife. The man yanked it from the calf sheath and held it high amid the buffoonish laughter of the others.
"Well, lookee 'ere, boys! the bandit crowed. "He's got a lit'le blade! Right sweet it is, too - can probably terrify an apple with it!"
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 97:
(Rath drops the buffoon on the one of his drunken buddies below while riding the updraft of wind) Dropping Abner headfirst onto his fellows with a thud that resounded like the crushing of a melon. The pink snow beneath them splashed red.
Rath: Not at all an unattractive picture when viewed from above.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 119:
(Talking about Anwyn invading the Bolg Lands while Achmed was gone)
"No worries, sir; we repelled 'er easily enough."
"How did you manage that?" Achmed asked incredulously. "I have the only weapon in the Bolglands capable of piercing dragon hide, and it was with me. What did you do to drive her off?"
"We backed up the sewage cistern and blasted 'er out of the tunnels with the hrekin," Grunthor replied. "About an 'undred thousan' gallon of the former contens of Bolg arsesl seemed an appropriate enough weapon. Besides, dragons are extra sensitive to all the senses, if I recall correctly. Stunned 'er, it did. Left an 'eck of a mess as well, which we thought about cleaning up before you got 'home, but decided instead it made a lovely battlement. So we just sort a shaped it into a barricade and left it to stink up the place right nicely. Don't expect she'll be comin' back anytime soon."
"And you neglected to mention this as the council of war?" Achmed said, amused.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 137:
(Achmed pulls his mount to a halt, twisting his face away from the back and shoulders of the woman (Rhapsody) who rode on the horse before him)
"Hrekin," he said sourly. "Rhapsody, for the sake of everything that is holy, or unholy even, what is that repulsive smell?"
"Oi think ya got it right the first time, sir," said Grunthor merrily.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 137:
Achmed to Rhapsody: "You did not warn me that your child would make a fine catapult shell - better than rotting garbage or dead fish."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 140:
(Achmed finished off the disguised Sorbold soldiers)
He started across the field to catch up with them again, bothered most by the fact that what alerted him to the presence of his stalkers had been an odious signal from a newborn, rather than his own sensitive network of nerves and blood vessels.
"I'm getting too old for his hrekin," he muttered.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 161:
(Talquist walks up to Rhonwyn whom he abducted)
"Good day, Rhonwyn," he said as pleasantly as he could.
(Rhonwyn ignores him)
"Good day, Rhonwyn," he repeated.
"No," Rhonwyn said. "I think not."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 267:
(A bee is attacking Grunthor in the desert, far east of Yarim)
Achme glanced over at Grunthor, who was rubbing his neck.
"What's the matter?"
"Somethin' stung me," the giant muttered.
"Probably a sand fly of some sort," said Achmed. "They can be brutal, though one would think you'd be fairly invulnerable to them, given your Bengard skin."
"One would think," the giant agree, still examining his neck, "but this was no lit'le sting. Oi got right bit. Ow. Bloody ow."
(A few minutes later)
Several small wells pocked the otherwise unbroken layer of sand, over which a few itinerant bees were hovering while others appeared to be burrowing into the ground hear the wells.
"I've found your assailant, Grunthor," he said, crouching down and examining the wells, which resembled large anthills. "Do you wish me to wreck vengeance on your behalf? I could piss on them if you want."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 275:
(Rhapsody is changing Meridion's diaper while they are underground in Kurimah Milani)
"Wonderful," she muttered as she riffled through the pack. "Why is it that whenever the three of us enter a city, we always seem to come in through the sewer? If I recall, that was our first sight of the Bolglands as well."
"Seems oddly appropriate, given what you are currently engaged in doing," said Achmed acidly over the soft cooing sounds of the baby. "Gods, Rhapsody, are you certain you're not feeding him sulfurt?"
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 281:
Achmed turned to the Dhracian (Rath). "Why are you here? What do you want?"
"I have a task for you."
The Bolg king chuckled wryly. "You have come to assign me a task? Why would you think such a thing possible? And do you really believe that strangling me is the way to assure my cooperation?"
The dark eyes narrowed.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 293-294:
(After Rhapsody panics about finding Meridion gone. Achmed conforts her with a hug when Rhapsody looks up and than down at her stomach, Achmed watches as he thought he shall the baby kick)
Stunned relief came over Rhapsody's face. "He's kicking. I can feel him kicking."
"I'm going to be ill," said Achmed.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 294:
"It's to be expected, I supposel history is riddled with many young men who could not resist staying inside Rhapsody as long as they could."
"Well, that was ugly, sir," Grunthor admonished reprovingly. "You're talkin' about a mother, after all."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 325:
"Do you think that Elynsynos was still in possession of such a scale when she-up until now?" Rhapsody asked nervously.
"I would hope so," Rath said. "Elsewise it is in other hands, and one of the Stolen Deck in the control of an evil entity could bring about the end of the world all by itself."
"Ducky," Grunthor muttered. "Just ducky."
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 327:
"I remmember this vaguely from the old world," Achmed said. "In the Gated City of Kingston, a market of thieves the likes of which I've never seen again, there was such a Seren woman. She was almost impossible to find if you were looking for her, but if you were not, you might perchance come upon her in a booth or behind a tent. She would offer you a reading from her deck in exchange for gold."
"Did you ever take her up on it?" Rhapsody asked.
Achmed gestured impatiently at Rath. "Go on," he said, ignoring her.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 327:
(About the Scales of the Stolen Deck)
"More likely they are at the bottom of the sea," Achmed said.
"It's always pretty to think so," said Rath darkly.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 335:
(To Achmed)
"You arrogant horse's ***," Faedryth retorted angrily. (Brags on and on about his Lightforge and how Achmed doesn't understand what he's doing and the risk he is taking with rebuilding the Lightcatcher)
"But alas, your ineptitude and indiscretion may spell disaster and doom for all of us-all of us. And I do not intent to see that happen."
"Well, hooray for thee," Replied the Bolg King.
- The Assassin King, hardcover, page 384:
"But," he continued as the Sergeant-Major lifted Rath from the ground, "now that the F'dor has chosen a host who is formed of Living Stone, elemental earth, I happen to have an assassin who is just perfect for the job."
Grunthor broke into a gigantic grin.
"Oh, goody! An' it ain't even my birthday! Thank you, sir."
"Fire-child, star-child, what is kel? Sword-bearers, song-weavers, that is kel."
-The Faded Sun trilogy by C.J.Cherryh.
My Avatar is my cat, Niun.
*Keeper of The Dictionary of All Symphony of Ages Knowledge & The Ven Polypheme Dictionary Guide.*